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Popularity: 6% [?]
Archive for the ‘Entertainment-Fun-Joy-Jokes’ Category
Indian Mathematics Formulae
On January - 25 - 2009
| Formula |
=
|
Output |
|---|---|---|
| SSC + HSC + BMS + MBA |
 |
UNEMPLOYMENT |
| An Idea + An Idiot |
|
A Dotcom |
| One Chinese gymnast |
|
India’s Gold Medal tally since 1896 |
| Sushmita Sen – 2.2 feet |
|
Salman Khan |
| Special Effects in Shampoo ads |
|
Special effects in Jur@$$ic park |
| 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand |
|
4 minute song in Bollywood |
| 10 Midday mates |
|
5 minutes of FTV |
| One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace |
|
One Sooraj Barjataya Film |
| Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company |
|
Kajol |
| Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag |
|
Your mum’s favourite serials |
| Star Movies – Rerun + Good Movies |
|
HBO |
| Amitabh Bachchan – Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati |
|
A SUPERSTAR |
| Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan | |
Abhishek Bachchan – Talent |
|
Atal Bihari – Bad knee |
|
Still our LAST HOPE |
Popularity: 5% [?]
Funny Obama Shirt Designs
On January - 21 - 2009
eNjOY
Popularity: 6% [?]
ACCUSE ME PLEASE Satyam Song Like Movie Amar Akbar Anthony
On January - 21 - 2009
Take tone of My name is Anthony Gonsalves from Amar Akbar Anthony and sing
this song
इस गाने को अमर अकबर एन्थोनी फिल्म के गीत माइ नेम इज एन्थोनी गोन्स्लेव्ज की धुन से गाये-
My name is Ramalinga Raju
माइ नेम इज रामालिंगा राजू
Main Satyam ka Lootera (Thief) hoon
मैं सत्यम का लूटेरा हूं
Khaate (Accounts) hai khaali, Balance sheets jaali (fake)
खाते है खाली, ब्नेलेन्स शीट जाली
Satyam employees ki bhi watt laga daali
सत्यम एम्प्लोयी की भी वाट लगा डाली
…
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
जिसको भी याद आये, मुझे मिलने चला आये
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
जिसको भी याद आये, मुझे मिलने चला आये
…
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi(ssorry…kholi) number 420
हैदराबाद पोलिस चौकी, झोली (सॉरी खोली) नम्बर चार सौ बीस
ACCUSE ME PLEASE
एक्स्क्यूज मी प्लीज
abhi abhi jail ke andar ek company kholi hai, aji kholi hai, haan haan kholi hai
अभी अभी जेल के अन्दर एक कम्पनी खोली है, अजी खोली है, हां हां खोली है
investors ne bhi lagayi bad chad kar boli hai, haan boli hai, haan haan boli hai
इन्वेस्टर ने भी लगाई बढ चढ कर बोली है, हां बोली है, हां हां बोली है,
jailor bhi raazi, qaidi bhi raazi
जैलर भी राजी, कैदी भी राजी
Jab tak chalegi yeh jaalsaazi
जब तक चलेगी ये जालसाजी
…
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
जिसको भी याद आये, मिलके मरने चला आये
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
जिसको भी याद आये, मिलके मरने चला आये
…
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi (ssorry…kholi) number 420
हैदराबाद पोलिस चौकी, झोली (सॉरी खोली) नम्बर चार सौ बीस
ACCUSE ME PLEASE
एक्स्क्यूज मी प्लीज
Popularity: 3% [?]
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
On January - 14 - 2009
Sardar & Pundit
A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??
Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
Missed Call
Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages. And this scheme worked very fine.
One day Santa sends his pigeon.
Banta sees the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any message.
Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.
Boss….
Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir…
Boss: Don’t look down. Look at me.
Thank God..
Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
Student : Thank God ! I was born after that otherwise, I would have died before becoming prime minister..
Popularity: 3% [?]
Smile Deni Hai…(Punjabi Jokes)
On January - 14 - 2009
Smile Deni Hai…
Budha: Putar mere dand (teeth) lai ke aa.
Putar: Bapu roti te bani nahi ajje.
Budha: Roti nahi khani, sahmne vali buddhi nu smile deni hai.
Fight
Santa: Jaldi ik peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Santa: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Santa: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Par eh ladai honi kado hai?
Santa: Jad tu paise mangega.
Age Factor
Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar ch Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar lai c.
Munda: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar ch Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke c.
Balle Balle: Best Performance
Ik vari ki hoya ik pind vich sher aa gaya. Sher nu pakdan vaste Japan di police di help layi gayi, Amrika di police v aayi, par sab nakam rahe.
Akhir vari aayi sadi harman pyari Punjab Pulas di.
Bas fer ki c. Agle hi din Punjab Pulas ne thane vich ik bandar pakdya hoya c te ohnu kut kut ke keh rahe san: Bol me hi sher han, me hi sher han !!!
Relaxing
Santa was lying on beach in UK. Suddenly a man comes and asked: Are u relaxing.
Santa: No I am Santa. 2-3 more men asked him the same question.
Irritated Santa got up & started walking. He saw a man lying on a chair. Santa ask him are u relaxing? He said: yes. Santa slapped him & said: tu ithe baitha hai te loki tainu uthe labh rahe ne.
Add digit 2 before dialing
Sante ne STD vale de 2 thapar lagaye te phone karan lagga.
Poooocho kiyuuunnn?
Kiyunki STD te likhya c “Fone karan to pehle 2 lagao”
Propose
Punjabi boys & girls propose like this:
Pipal da boota hove,
Ganne da ras hove,
Je mere vas hove,
Teri ma meri sas hove
Popularity: 3% [?]
Who is the Designer of the Human Body ?
On January - 14 - 2009
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems has many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
Popularity: 2% [?]
असली नकली नोट
On January - 14 - 2009
असली नकली नोट
संता: बता सकते हो यह 500 का नोट असली है या नकली ?
बंता: जलाकर देखो, चांदी का तार निकला तो असली नही तो नकली।
कुंवारी न रह जाए
मोटू: तू प्रीतो से केवल उसके पैसे और प्रॉपर्टी के लिए शादी करना चाहता है , यह अच्छी बात नहीं है।
छोटू: लेकिन यह तो सोच कि कितना बुरा होगा , अगर प्रीतो अपने पैसे और प्रॉपर्टी के चलते जिंदगी भर गई कुंवारी रह गई तो ?
नई नौकरी के कार्यालय दिन
पति का भूत
ज्योतिषीः तो तुम अपने पति का भविष्य जानना चाहती हो ?
महिलाः नहीं , इनका भविष्य तो मेरे हाथ में है। फिलहाल तो आप उनका भूतकाल बताइए।
डार्लिन्ग आंटी
लडके को चॉकलेट खाते देख मम्मी बोली , ‘ बेटा चॉकलेट किसने दिया ?’
लड़के ने कहा , ‘ डार्लिन्ग आंटी ने। ’
मम्मी ने पूछा, ‘ ये डार्लिन्ग आंटी कौन है ?’
लड़के ने कहा, ‘ वही जो हमारे पड़ोस मे रहती हैं , जब आप शॉपिंग करने गई थीं तो पापा उन्हें डार्लिन्ग कह रहे थे। ’
शादी की मूवी
संता : रात में एक फिल्म देखी , फिल्म में एक चुड़ैल कभी मेरे आगे , कभी मेरे पीछे घूम रही थी।
बंता : ओ यारा , तूने कौन-सी फिल्म देखी थी ?
संता : यार , अपनी शादी की मूवी।
मुर्गा-मुर्गी
संता : मुर्गा और मुर्गी को कैसे पहचाना जाएगा ?
बंता : सिंपल। उसे पत्थर मारो , अगर भागा तो मुर्गा और भागी तो मुर्गी।
आधी दे देना
एक व्यक्ति : ‘ यह घड़ी ठीक करने का क्या लोगे ?’
घड़ीसाज : ‘ जितनी कीमत है उसका आधा दे देना। ‘
अगले दिन घड़ी ठीक कराने के बाद उस व्यक्ति ने घड़ीसाज को 2 थप्पड़ मार दिए। घड़ीसाज ने पूछा , ‘ यह क्या किया तुमने ?’
‘ कुछ नहीं , जब मैंने घड़ी लेने की जिद की थी तो मेरे पिताजी ने मुझे 4 थप्पड़ मारे थे। ‘
शादी के बाद
पत्नी : ‘ मैं कहती थी न कि स्त्री ही पुरुष को पूर्णता प्रदान करती है। इस पुस्तक में साफ लिखा है कि विवाह से पहले कालिदास वज्र मूर्ख थे और शादी के 2 साल बाद ही प्रकांड पंडित बन गए। ‘
पति : ‘ उस एक कालिदास को सब रोते हैं। भागवान , हम जैसे लाखों कालिदास भी तो हैं , जो विवाह से पहले प्रकांड पंडित थे और शादी के 2 साल बाद ही पत्नी ने वज्र मूर्ख बना कर रख दिया। ‘
नारी का मतलब…
नारी का मतलब क्या है शक्ति
और पुरुष का मतलब क्या है सहनशक्ति
आप परेशान क्यों हैं
बस में एक महिला ने देखा कि उसके साथ बैठा यात्री काफी परेशान है।
आखिर पूछ ही लिया : ‘ भाई साहब , आपको काफी देर से देख रही हूं। बुरा न मानें तो पूछ सकती हूं कि आप इतने परेशान क्यों हैं ?’
वह बोला : ‘ पिछले 15 मिनट से आप जिस पांव को खुजला रही हैं , वह आपका नहीं , दरअसल मेरा है। ‘
Popularity: 9% [?]
Comments On Patient Charts
On January - 13 - 2009
There were so many ways to misstate a health problem. The following are comments from doctors as recorded on patient charts.
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.
- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
- Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
- The patient refused an autopsy.
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
- The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
- While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
Popularity: 2% [?]