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There is a routine that whenever a student is late or absent from school, a letter from the parents must be supplied for the absence to be excused. Sometimes such letters suggest that the parents were excused from school too many times in their own youth.

1. Mohan was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
2. Lily will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse Suresh being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Mona was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
5. Arun was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
6. David has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Lalit was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
8. John could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
10. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
11. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
12. Please excuse Tapsya from Yagya today. She is administrating.
13. Please excuse Jasika for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
14. Please excuse Usha for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
15. Please excuse Jagdish for being. It was his father’s fault.
16. Please excuse Lincy for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.
17. Please excuse Marium for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
18. Please excuse Ramesh Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
19. Please excuse Hari from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
20. Please excuse Govind for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
21. Saily won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

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Very funny ad from Wrigley’s. Brilliant ideea :

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Some Funny Commercials…

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Funny Accidents – Incidenti Divertenti

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संता बंता..

संता की सैक्रेटरी बंतानी जब बॉस के कैबिन से निकली, तो उसका चेहरा तमतमाया हुआ था। सहेली के पूछने पर उसने बताया, ‘बॉस ने अंदर बुलाकर पूछा कि क्या आप खाली हैं। मुझे लगा कि कोई ख़ास बात है। जब मैंने कहा कि हां मैं ख़ाली हूं, तो कंब़ख्त ने मुझे 40 पेज टाइप करने को दे दिए।

बंता अपनी प्रेमिका संतानी को सुनाते हुए बोला: ‘मुझे तो ऐसी बीवी चाहिए जो आज्ञाकारी हो, अच्छा खाना पकाए, कपड़े धोए और जबान न चलाए।’ संतानी हंसते हुए बोली: ‘मेरे घर आ जाना, मेरी नौकरानी में ये सारे गुण हैं।’
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गर्ल्स हॉस्टल में मुन्नाभाई
वॉर्डन : अगर कोई लड़का गर्ल्स हॉस्टल में गया तो फर्स्ट टाइम 100 रुपये फाइन , सेकंड टाइम 200 रुपये फाइन और थर्ड टाइम 500 रुपये फाइन …
मुन्ना भाई : बोले तो , मंथली पास का क्या लेगा मामू !

टाइटेनिक में संता-बंता
टाइटेनिक डूब रहा था। इतने में बंता ने संता से पूछाः ज़मीन कितनी दूरी पर है ?
संता ने कहाः सिर्फ दो किलोमीटर …
इतना सुनते ही बंता ने पानी में छलांग लगा दी और पूछाः किस दिशा की ओर ?
संता : नीचे की ओर !
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मुर्गी के अंडे!
टीचर : रामू , एक मुर्गी रोज दो अण्डे दे तो वह हफ्ते मे कितने अंडे देगी ?
रामू : सर , बारह।
टीचर : वह कैसे ?
रामू : जी , वह रविवार की छुट्टी भी तो मनाएगी न सर।

सब इसी जेल में हैं
जेल मे एक कैदी ने दूसरे कैदी से पूछा , ‘ तुमसे कोई मिलने क्यों नहीं आता ? क्या तुम्हारा कोई रिश्तेदार नहीं है ?’
दूसरे कैदी ने जवाब मे कहा , ‘ बहुत हैं पर सारे इसी जेल में हैं। ‘
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क्या जमाना आ गया
क्या जमाना आ गया ? मुझे जिन-जिन लोगों से पैसे लेने हैं , वे मुझे देखते ही भाग जाते हैं। ‘
‘ तो फिर तुम क्या करते हो ?’
‘ करना क्या है , मुझे भी जिन-जिन लोगों को पैसे देने हैं , उसी तरह उन्हें देखते ही दूसरे रास्ते से निकल जाता हूं। ‘

बीवी के डांटने पर भी मुंह न खोलें
संता की शादी होने वाली थी। वह एक मनोचिकित्सक के पास पहुंचा। बोला: मैं अपनी मैरिज लाइफ को कामयाब कैसे बना सकता हूं ? Read the rest of this entry »

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