1. HEIGHT OF CHALLENGE
   Sardar left exam papers blank & wrote at end ‘Dum hai to pass karke dikha’
2. Sardar 1 : HARBHAJAN male or female?
   Sardar 2 : Female
   Sardar 1 : How ?
   Sardar 2 : Oye!! just now comentator told “A wonderful delivery by HARBHAJAN”
3. Dog was following sardar. Sardar laughed.
   A man asked ‘ Why are you laughing ?
   Sardar replied ‘ Oye I have put Airtel sim but Hutch network is
   following!!! !’
   
4. A Sardar declares:
   I Will never marry in my life & I’ll advice the same to my children too’
5. Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
   Interviewer : Do you know MS Office?
   Sardar : If you give me address I can find it ?????
6. Sardar was writing the Passive voice of ‘I MADE A MISTAKE’
   Answer : ‘I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE’
7. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from Auto,
   Man asks Sardar, ‘Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?’
   Oye! Cant u read ‘Parking for Two Wheelers only!’
8. Once Sardar was very hungry…. Went to a hotel he took only tea
   without having food…
   Guess why ??? Hotel Kamath …. (Kha Math)
9. Sardar was driving his car too fast. His friend asked why are you
   driving so fast. Sardar said break failure yaar…
   I want to reach home before accident…!!

1. SARDARJI bought a new mobile.
   He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said, ‘My Mobile
   No. has changed.
   Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610′
2. SARDARJI : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
   Friend: Really, what is he studying.
   SARDARJI : No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
3. SARDARJI : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
   DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
   SARDARJI : Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.
   
4. SARDARJI : If I die, will u remarry?
   Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
   SARDARJI : No, I’ll also stay with your sister.
5. SARDARJI : People consider me as a ‘GOD’
   Wife: How do you know??
   SARDARJI : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
   Oh GOD! U have come again..
6. SARDARJI complained to the police: ‘Sir, all the items are missing,
   except the TV in my house.’
   Police: ‘ Howz that the thief did not take the TV?’
   SARDARJI : ‘I was watching TV news…’
7. SARDARJI comes back to his car & finds a note saying ‘Parking Fine’
   He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole ‘Thanks for the compliment.’
8. How do you recognize a SARDARJI in School?
   He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
9. Once a SARDARJI was walking. He had a glove only on one hand .
   So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
10. SARDARJI was in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
    Says ‘Hello, how did you know I was here?’
11. SARDARJI : Why are all these people running?
    Man – This is a race, the winner will get the cup
    SARDARJI – If only the winner will get the cup, then why are the others running?
12. Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense
    SARDARJI : The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’

• 1.
• Gham me hasne walo ko kabhi rulaya nahi jata, lehro se pani ko hataya nahi jata, hone wale ho jate hain khudhi dil se apne, kisi ko kehkar apna banaya nahi jata
• 2.
• Socha tha na karenge kisi se dosti, na karenge kisi se vaada, par kya kare dost mila itna pyara ki karna pada dosti ka vaada
• 3.
• Samja do apni yado ko, wo bin bulaye pas aaya karti hai, aap to dur rehkar satate ho magar, wo pas aakar rulaya karti hai
• 4.
• Waqt guzarta raha par sanse thami si thi, muskura rahe the hum, par ankho me nami si thi, saath hamare ye jahan tha sara, par na jaane kyu tumhari kami si thi
• 5.
• Kyu dil ke mere tukde kar diye, kyu mere aansu ko apni muskan se baha diye, gunah kya tha mera bus chahna tumhe, kyu meri zindagi me tune dard bhardiye
• 6.
• Phool se pehle khusboo ko to dekho, karne se pehle kaam ko to dekho, kisike roop mein diwana naa bano, surat se pehle uske dil ko to dekho
• 7.
• Movie titles related to engg students: exams – socha na tha, classes – kabhi kabhi, question papers – na tum jano na hum, copying – yaarana, maths2 – asambhav, maths1 – mission impossible, environmental sciences – pyar mein kabhi kabhi, 1st semester – kuch to hai, 2nd semester – yeh kya ho raha hai, distinction – kal ho na ho, 1st class – raju bangaya gentleman, 2nd class – dil mange more fail – phir milenge 7.Hum wo ishq hain jo dil bankar dhadakte hai, hum wo khushbo hain jo baho mein mahakte hain, humse pyar na karna e-zalim hum vo dard hain jo ankho se chalakte hain
• 8.
• School- a place where papa pays & son plays life insurance- a contract tht keeps you poor all ur life so tht you can die rich nurse- a person wakes up to give you sleeping pills marriage- a contract in which a boy loses his bachelors degree & girl gets her masters degree
• 9.
• Apne pyar ko chupana chaha par chupa na sake, diwane dil pe kabu hum pa na sake, aaj itne karib se gujar gaye wo, phir bhi unka hath hum tham na sake
• 10.
• Ikrar may shabdo ki ahmiyat nai hoti, dil ke jazbat ki awaz nai hoti, ankhen bayan kar deti hai dil ki dastan, mohabbat lafzo ki mohtaz nai hoti
• 11.
• Gam ki aahat na aaye tere dar par, pyar ke samander ka tum bhi ek kinara ho, bhool se jo tapke teri aankhon say moti, thame wohi jo tumhe sabse pyara ho
• 12.
• Mohabbat me sath to harpal hota he, koi dikhne se hota he to koi dilse hota hai, maza to sath tab aye yaro, jab judai ka lamha mahsus hota hai
• 13.
• Be slow in choosing a friend & slower while loosing them bcoz friendship is not an opportunity its a sweet rsponsibility
• 14.
• If love is sweet why does it hurt, if love is deep why does it burn, if love is warm why do we shiver, if love is tender why do we cry, if love is forever why do we die
• 15.
• God picked up a flower & dipped in honey he touched it with love n turned into u, he then gifted it to me & said this friend is for u
• 16.
• Na chaho kisi ko itna ki chahat aapki majburi ban jaye, chaho kisi ko itna aapka pyaar uske liye jaruri ban jaye
• 17.
• Gham ne hasne na diya, zamane ne rone na diya, is uljhano ne jine na diya, thak ke jab sitaron se panah li, neend aayi tho aapki yaad ne sone na diya
• 18.
• Har ek se achi baat karna FITRAT hai hamari, har ek khush rahe ye HASRAT hai hamari, koi hum ko yaad kare ya na kare, har ek ko yaad karna aadat hai hamari
• 19.
• Yaadon mein hum rahein ye ehsaas rakhna, nazron se door sahi dil ke paas rakhna, ye nahi kehte ke sath raho dur sahi par yaad rakhna
• 20.
• Fasle mita kar aapas me pyar rakhna, dosti ka ye rishta hamesha yunhi barkarar rakhna, bichad jaye kabhi aap se hum, aankhon me hamesha hamara intejar rakhna
• 21.
• Hamne zindagi ki shurarat S se ki, s se suraj, s se subah, s se swagat, s se saaz, s se sangeet par phir s se samay ne aisi karwat badli ke s se hamari shaadi ho gai, aur fir jeewan ka arth saas, sasur, saala, saali, sasural or sankat ho gaya to hamne s se sharab pi ne lage, so beaware of s
• 22.
• Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge, kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge, choice zara sochke karna, zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge
• 23.
• Sms karenge hum ek duje ko bari bari, hame lagti hai ye rasam badi pyari, ye sms milte hi ek sms bhej dena, kyunki hame bilkul pasand nahi udhari
• 24.
• Kisi na kisi pe kisi ko aetbar ho jata hai, ajnabi koi shaks yaar ho jata hai, khubiyo se nahi hoti mohabbat bhi sadaa, khamiyo se bhi aksar pyaar ho jata hai
• 25.
• Khuda se thoda rahem kharid lete, aap ke zakhmo ka marhar kharid lete, agar kahin kabhi bikti khushiyan meri, to saari bechkar aapka har gam kharid lete
• 26.
• Sabse loving kaun: TUM, sabse sweet kaun: TUM, sabse cute kaun: TUM, in sab me TUM se zyada kaun: HUM lekin duniya me sabse acche dost kaun: HUM TUM
• 27.
• Nighahe nighago se milakar to dekho, naye logo se rishta banakar to dekho, hasrate dil me dabane se kya faida, apne hoton ko hilakar to dekho, asmaan simat jayega tumhare agosh me, chahat ki bahen failakar to dekho
• 28.
• Frindship opens many doors each with a different view but none could be more beautiful view than the door that leads to u
• 29.
• Tum kya jano kya hai tanhai is tute hue patte se pucho kya hai judai, yu bewafa ka ilzam na de zalim, is waqt se puch kis waqt teri yaad na aayi
• 30.
• Bathmeez Chaddar ki KAMEEZ, Lohe ka PAIJAMA, Bandar tera MAMA, Billi teri MAUSI, Kutte mera YAAR, Aam ka AACHAR Miss u mere YAAR
• 31.
• Aap ka ashiyana dil mein basaya hai, apki yado ko sine se lagaya hai, pata nahi yaad apki hi kyo aati hai, dost to hamne auro ko bhi banaya hai
• 32.
• Make a heart which never breaks, make a smile which never hurts, make a touch which never pains, make a friendship which never ends
• 33.
• Dosti gazal hai gane ke liye, dosti nagma hai sunane ke liye, ye wo jazba hai jo sabko nahi milta, kyonki aap jaisa chahiye nibhane ke liye
• 34.
• Zindagi hai nadan isiliye chup hoon, dard hi dard subah shaam isiliye chup hoon, keh du zamane se dastan apni, usme aayega tera naam isiliye chup hoon
• 35.
• Hoth keh nahi sakte jo fasana dil ka, shayad nazron se vo baat ho jaye, is ummid se karte hain intezar raat ka, ke shayad sapne me mulakat ho jaye
• 36.
• Sehmi si nigaho mein khwab hum jaga denge, sooni in raho pe phool hum khila denge, humare sang muskura ke to dekhiye, hum aapke har gum bhula denge
• 37.
• Kaise kehde ki unse milne ki chahat nahi, bekarar dil ko ab bhi rahat nahi, bhula dete unhe bhi magar kya kare dost, kisi ko bhulane ki is dil ko aadat nahi
• 38.
• Mana aaj unhe hamara koi khayal nahi, jawab dene ko hum razi he par koi sawal nahi, pucho unke dil se kya hum unke yaar nahi, kya hamse milne ko wo bekarar nahi
• 39.
• Bolti hai dosti chup rehta hai pyar, hasati hai dosti rulaata hai pyar, milati hai dosti judaa karta hai pyar, phir bhi kyun dosti chodkar log karte hai pyar
• 40.
• Aap to manzil ko mushkil samajte he hum aap ko manzil samajte he, bada fark he apke or hamare nazariye me aap hume sapna or hum aap ko apna samajte hai
• 41.
• Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumhare hathon me rehti Hus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her din nayi nayi to milti
• 42.
• Leke hum dusro ki hasi kya kare, jo apni nahi wo khushi kya kare, tanha jine se behatar hai mar jaye hum, jab saath tum nahi to zindagi jikar kya kare
• 43.
• Phool bankar muskurana zindagi hai, muskurake gum bhulana zindagi hai, milkar log khush hote hai to kya hua, bina mile dosti nibhana bhi zindagi hai
• 44.
• Happy moments praise allah, difficult moments seek allah, quiet moments worship allah, painful moments trust allah, every moments thank allah
• 45.
• Ae khuda dua ye meri khali na jaye ke mere dost ki palkon main kabhi aansu na aaye, aansu nikle to khushi ke nikle gum ke aansu mere hisse me aa jaye
• 46.
• Tumhari yaadon ki mehek in hawaon mein hai, pyar hi pyar hi bikhra in fizao mein hai, aisa na ho ki duriya dard ban jaye, ab to aapke msg ka intezaar niaghon mein hai
• 47.
• Mohabbat ko mohabbat ka ishara yaad rehata hai, har pyar ko apna pyar yaad rehta hai, wo pal jo yaar ki baho me guzarta hai, maut tak vo nazara yaad rehta hai
• 48.
• Panchi keh rahe hai ki hum chaman chod denge, aur sitare keh rahe hai ki hum gagan chod denge, agar tere ishq mein mai mar bhi jau ae sanam, tum dilse pukar lena hum kafan chod denge
• 49.
• Aansu aa jate hain aankhon mein, par labon pe hasi lani padti hai, yeh mohabbat bhi kya cheez hai yaaro, jisse karte ho usi se chupani padti hai
• 50.
• Kyun kisi ki khamoshi mujhe khamosh kar jaati hai, kyun uski udaasi muje udaas kar jaati hai, kya rishta hai uska mera jo mujhe uski yaad har pal aa jaati hai
• 51.
• Jab koi khayal dilse takarata hai dil na chahkar bhi khamosh reh jata hai, koi sab kuch kehkar pyar jatata hai toh koi kuch na kehkar bhi pyar nibhata hai
• 52.
• Reth pe likhna to adat hai hamari isiliye toh sagar se dushmani hai hamari, chahe wo lakh bar apka nam mitaye, apko bhulana taqdir nahi hamari
• 53.
• Lamhe ye sunhere kal sath ho na ho, kal me aaj jaisi baat ho na ho, yaadon ke hasin lamhe dil me rehenge, tamaam umar chahe mulaqat ho na ho
• 54.
• Mere alfazon ko juth mat samajna, yaad aati hai bahut jaldi milne ki dua karna, ji raha tha tumhare naam par mar jau toh bewafa mat samajna
• 55.
• Lehar ati hai kinare se palat jati hai, yad ati hai dil me simat jati hai, faraq itna hai ki lehar bewaqt ati hai, aur aap ki yaad har waqt ati hai
• 56.
• Rab se aapki khushi mangte hain, duaon me aapki hansi mangte hain, sochte hain kya mangen aapse chalo aapki umar bhar ki dosti mangte hain
• 57.
• Nazre na hoti to nazara na hota, duniya main hasino ka guzara na hota, hamse yeh mat kaho ke dil lagana chhod de, jaake khuda se kaho hasino ko banana chhod de
• 58.
• Best day aaj, best gift zindagi, best eahsaas khushi, best feeling pyar, best relationship dosti, best person hum, best friend tum hum tum
• 59.
• Wo laut aayega teri zindagi mein, jiska intzaar tujhe aaj bhi hai, maana waqt ne ki hai bewafai tujhse lekin meri duaon me asar aaj bhi hai
• 60.
• Ruthne ka haq aap rakhte hai manane ki chahat hum rakhte hai, aapke hoton pe muskurahat yu hi bani rahe yehi dua rab se hum roz karte hai
• 61.
• Kiss is not like nokia just connecting people, not like nike just do it, not like pepsi yeh dil mange more, but kiss is like lays no one can eat just one
• 62.
• Kaash dil ki awaaz me itna asar ho jaye ki hum jise yaad kare use khabar ho jaye rab se yahi dua hai meri ki aap jise chahe woh aap ka humsafar ho jaye
• 63.
• Heart is like a crystal preserve it, love is like a perfume spread it, feelings are like flood flow it, friendship is like umbrella come lets share it
• 64.
• Kafi hai husn dil ko behlane ke liye, mohabbat karlo dil ko dukhane ke liye, chahe bhale pade gam se vasta, ek hum jaisa dost rakhna sab gamo ko bhulane ke liye
• 65.
• Anjane me hum apna dil gawa baithe is pyar me kaisa dhoka kar baithe unse kya gila kare bhool hamari hi hai jo bina dil walon se dil laga baithe
• 66.
• Har khushi dil ke karib nahi hoti, zindagi gamo se dur nahi hoti, ae dost is dosti ko sanjokar rakhna, aisi dosti har kisi ko nasib nahi hoti
• 67.
• Hum mitti ka aashiyana banate gaye, bana bana kar unhe mitate gaye, hume koi na apna bana saka, hum har kisi ko apna banate gaye
• 68.
• Days r too busy, hours r too fast, sec r too few, but there’s always time for me to remember a nice friend like u
• 69.
• Kaun hai jo manzil se door nahin, kaun hai jo zindagi se majboor nahin, gunaah to sabhi karte hain, humari nazar mein to khuda bhi bekasoor nahin
• 70.
• Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga, dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyar hoga, guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein, kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga
• 71.
• Nazroo se jab nazar ka takrar hota hai, har mod par kissi ka intezaar hota hai, dil rota hai zakham haste hai, isi ka naam to pyaar hota hai
• 72.
• Unhone dekha aur aansu gir pade, bhari basant mein jaise phool bikhar pade, dukh woh nahin ki unhone hume alvida kaha, dukh to ye he ki uske bad wo khud ro pade
• 73.
• Mana ye waqt hame yaad karne wala nahi, par bewaqt he yaad karliya karo, mana aapke aspas sari duniya hai, kabhi hamari kamika bhi ehsas karliya karo
• 74.
• Nashili aankho se wo jab hamein dekhte hain, hum ghabraakar ankhen jhuka leite hain, kaun milaye unn ankhon se ankhen, suna hai wo ankho se apna bana leite hai
• 75.
• Chandni raat main jab sara jahan sota hai kisi ki yaad main koi badnaseeb rota hai, khuda kisi ko pyar pe fida na kare aur kare to juda nakare
• 76.
• Har pal muskurana zindagi hai, muskurakar gam bhulana zindagi hai, jeet kar muskurana bhi kya muskurana hai, haar kar muskurana zindagi hai
• 77.
• Hum nibhayenge dosti marte dum tak, hum hasayenge tumko gham se khushi tak, aye dost kabhi humse naraz na hona, saath rehna hamare akhiri dum tak
• 78.
• A child uses its thumb 2 chew, an illiterate uses his thumb 2 sign, a winner uses his thumb 2 show victory, but a monkey is using his thumb 2 read this sms
• 79.
• Jab se tumhe jana hai, jab se tumhe paaya hai, har dua mein tera naam aaya hai, taaki poochhu rab se ki yeh kaisa namoona banaya hai
• 80.
• Ret pe naam kabhi likhte nahi, ret pe naam kabhi tikte nahi, log kehte hai ki hum patthar dil hain, lekin pattharo pe likhe naam kabhi mit te nahin
• 81.
• How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exists, how can u tell the leaves not 2 fall when the wind exists, how can u tell me not 2 miss when u exists
• 82.
• Aankhon me rahne walo ko yaad nahi karte, dil me rehne walo ki baat nahi karte, hamari to ruh me bus gaye hain aap, tabhi to hum milne ki fariyaad nahi karte
• 83.
• Every tear is a sign of brokenness, every silence is sign of lonliness, every smile is sign of kindness, every sms is sign of remembrance
• 84.
• To walk is easy but 2 walk alone is tough, being missed by someone is nice but missing someone is painful, being loved is secure but to love is insecure
• 85.
• Some people have nice eyes, some people have nice smiles, others have nice faces, but u have all of them with a nice heart
• 86.
• Phool bankar muskurana zindagi hai, muskurake gum bhulana zindagi hai, milkar log khush hote hai to kya hua, bina mile dosti nibhana bhi zindagi hai
• 87.
• Tujse dosti karne ka hisab na aya, mere kisi bhi sawal ka jawab na aya, hum to jagte rahe tere hi khayalo me, aur tujhe so kar bhi hamara khawab na aya
• 88.
• These are some of the romantic countries in the world, holland: hope our love lasts & never dies, italy: i trust & love u, libya: love is beautiful & u also, france: friendship remains & never comes to an end
• 89.
• Jakham aisa diya ki koi dawa kaam na aayi, aag aise lagayi ki paani se bhi bhuj na payi, aaj bhi rote hai unki yaad main, jinhe hamari yaad hamare guzar jane par bhi na aayi
• 90.
• Bhool jane ka hounsla na hua, door rah kar bhi wo juda na hua, unse mil kar kisi aur se kya milte, koi dusra unke jaisa na hua
• 91.
• Laughter is the jam on the toast of life, it adds flavour keeps it from being too dry & makes it easier to swallow lifes sorrows
• 92.Kaanch chube to nishan reh jaata hai, dil tute to armaan reh jaata hai, laga to deta hai waqt marham is dil par, phir bhi umra bhar ek zakhm reh jata hai
• 93.
• Log phoolon se mohabbat karte hai, kaaton ko kisne yaad kiya, hum kaaton se mohabbat karte hai, kyunki phool ne hume barbaad kiya
• 94.
• Hum agar aapse mil nahi pate aisa nahin ke hamein aap yaad nahi aate, mana jahan ke sab rishte nibhaye nahi jate, par jo bas jate hai dil me phir bhulae nahi jate
• 95.
• Nazar nawaz najaro me ji nahi lagta, fiza gai to baharo me ji nahi lagta, na puchh mujse tere gum me kya gujarti hai, yahi kahunga hazaron me ji nahi lagta
• 96.
• Never search ur happiness in others which will make u feel alone, but search it in urself u will feel happy even if u are left alone
• 97.
• Kafi hai husn ko behlane ke liye, mohabbat karlo dil ko dukhane ke liye, chahe bhale pade gam se vasta, ek hum jaisa dost rakhna sab gamo ko bhulane ke liye
• 98.
• Fiza par asar hawaon ka hota hai, mohabbat par asar adaon ka hota hai, koi aisa hi kisi ka diwana nahi hota, kuch kasoor to nigahon ka hota hai
• 99.
• Pyar ke ujalo me gum ka andhera kyu aata hai, jisko hum chahte hai wohi kyu rulata hai, mere khuda agar wo mera naseeb nahi to aise logon se kyu milata hai
• 100.Waqt guzrega hum bikhar jayenge, kaun jane ke hum kidhar jayenge, hum apki parchayi hain yaad rakhna, jahan tanhai mili wahan hum nazar ayenge

ATM Jammed because of …
Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
Because
.
Sardar’s Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said”, Enter Ur PIN”

Caught sleeping together
Boy1-Meet my wife Tina
Boy2-Oh! I know her
Boy1-How?
Boy2-v were caught sleeping together
Boy1-What the hell?
Boy2-during lecture in maths class

Think +ve:)

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS
Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Desperate to get married
Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in &
Those inside are desperate to come out..

Positive thought
A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
.
Dad asked: “how did u feel?”
.
It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. evry1 ws clappin 4 me”
Moral: Take evrything positively

Independance day date
Bubbli got caugt on date
on Independance day
.
Major Rohail-
What is this?
.
Bubbli-
Dad today is freedom day,
so let me do what I want

Jeevan me ………
jeevan me paise, pyaar, dost,
sab kuch aata hai jaata hai,
par tode gaye daant phir nhi aate,
samajhdar ho ummeed hai msg bhejte rahoge.

Husband, Wife & Spare Tyre
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE

…PROBLEM & CHALLENGE…
TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????
STUDENT:
3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..

• Jokes

  Billy : I’m sorry to hear your factory was burnt down. What did you manufactures?
  Milly : Fire extinguishers.
  Billy : “The telephone ’s ringing . Why don ‘ t you answer it?”
  Milly : “Why should I? I don ‘ t know who ’s calling.”

• Cool SMS Jokes

  1-Tabiyat think nahi thi….tantrik ko dikhaya.
  Usne kaha ” TUM PAR BHOOT KA SAAYA HAI, KISI GHOR PAAPI KO MESSAGE KARO
  SAB THIK HO JAYEGA”
  AB KUCH ACHA LAG [...]

  2-da nite is dark
  da moon is high
  i stop my car
  u ask why ?
  i come closer
  u feel shy
  i tell u doz words
  u got [...]

• Kaun Banega Carorpati joke & sardarjee jokes

  Kaun Banega Carorpati joke “KBC ”
  Amitabh Bachachan Ji Kis Kis ko Banaenge Carorepati?
  Santa Banega Karodpati –
  We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat.
  (He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify)
  AB : OK Santa I [...]

• Cricket joke

Sehwag ko MAYUR pehnao,
Sachin ko PEPSI pilao,
Dhoni ko BRYLCREEM lagwao,
Ganguly ko Chavnpras khilao,
Dravid mein CASTROL bharwao,yuvraj ko MALAI MARKE LASSI pilao
Lekin in Models ko cricket mat khilao…

• Desi Jokes

  A lion held a huge party at his place ,He invited only his fellow lions.The
  lions were dancing when a mouse also came a joined in.
  The lion asked the mouse why he entered the party when the other species
  were not invited.
  The mouse said ‘Shaadi se pehle main bhi sher tha’
  Once a girl was drinking coke. She [...]

• Bollywood Jokes

  Bill Gates and Madhuri Dixit
  If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit; these could be the caption in newspapers:
  Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
  English Babu Desi Mem.
  Brain marries Beauty!?
  Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe….!? Ooo Windows mein Bill hai mera…
  The next version of Windows will be “Windows MD.”

• Computer jokes

  What if the IT Industry start making films ?
  Some future film titles will be like :—
  1) Meri disk tumhare paas hai—Humara dil apke paas hai
  2) Aao chat kare—Aao Pyar Kare
  3) Programmer no.1—Coolie no.1
  6) Hum aapke memory mein rahate hain—Hum aapke dil mein rahte hein
  7) Do processor baarah terminal—Do aankhen Baraah Haat

• Hindi Jokes

  1) ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare…
  thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola..”sahebji sahebji kutteji’ne murgi’ji ko pakar liya hai….”
  2) officer–dekho,humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho,chust,chalak aur chaukanna ho,jarurat parne par jisse hum daanT bhi saake..
  yadi [...]

Santa Singh explained , ” That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth (berth) to my child.”

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Fight
Santa: Jaldi ik peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Santa: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Lo sir.
Santa: Ik hor peg bana ke de ladai hon vali hai.
Waiter: Par eh ladai honi kado hai?
Santa: Jad tu paise mangega.

Age Factor
Teacher: Kaka tenu pata hai teri umar ch Mahatma Gandhi ne B.A. kar lai c.
Munda: Sir, menu eh v pata hai tuhadi umar ch Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke c.

Balle Balle: Best Performance
Ik vari ki hoya ik pind vich sher aa gaya. Sher nu pakdan vaste Japan di police di help layi gayi, Amrika di police v aayi, par sab nakam rahe.
Akhir vari aayi sadi harman pyari Punjab Pulas di.
Bas fer ki c. Agle hi din Punjab Pulas ne thane vich ik bandar pakdya hoya c te ohnu kut kut ke keh rahe san: Bol me hi sher han, me hi sher han !!!

Relaxing
Santa was lying on beach in UK. Suddenly a man comes and asked: Are u relaxing.
Santa: No I am Santa. 2-3 more men asked him the same question.
Irritated Santa got up & started walking. He saw a man lying on a chair. Santa ask him are u relaxing? He said: yes. Santa slapped him & said: tu ithe baitha hai te loki tainu uthe labh rahe ne.

Add digit 2 before dialing
Sante ne STD vale de 2 thapar lagaye te phone karan lagga.
Poooocho kiyuuunnn?
Kiyunki STD te likhya c “Fone karan to pehle 2 lagao”

Propose
Punjabi boys & girls propose like this:
Pipal da boota hove,
Ganne da ras hove,
Je mere vas hove,
Teri ma meri sas hove

कुंवारी न रह जाए
मोटू: तू प्रीतो से केवल उसके पैसे और प्रॉपर्टी के लिए शादी करना चाहता है , यह अच्छी बात नहीं है।
छोटू: लेकिन यह तो सोच कि कितना बुरा होगा , अगर प्रीतो अपने पैसे और प्रॉपर्टी के चलते जिंदगी भर गई कुंवारी रह गई तो ?

नई नौकरी के कार्यालय दिन

पति का भूत
ज्योतिषीः तो तुम अपने पति का भविष्य जानना चाहती हो ?
महिलाः नहीं , इनका भविष्य तो मेरे हाथ में है। फिलहाल तो आप उनका भूतकाल बताइए।

डार्लिन्ग आंटी
लडके को चॉकलेट खाते देख मम्मी बोली , ‘ बेटा चॉकलेट किसने दिया ?’
लड़के ने कहा , ‘ डार्लिन्ग आंटी ने। ’
मम्मी ने पूछा, ‘ ये डार्लिन्ग आंटी कौन है ?’
लड़के ने कहा, ‘ वही जो हमारे पड़ोस मे रहती हैं , जब आप शॉपिंग करने गई थीं तो पापा उन्हें डार्लिन्ग कह रहे थे। ’

शादी की मूवी
संता : रात में एक फिल्म देखी , फिल्म में एक चुड़ैल कभी मेरे आगे , कभी मेरे पीछे घूम रही थी।
बंता : ओ यारा , तूने कौन-सी फिल्म देखी थी ?
संता : यार , अपनी शादी की मूवी।

मुर्गा-मुर्गी
संता : मुर्गा और मुर्गी को कैसे पहचाना जाएगा ?
बंता : सिंपल। उसे पत्थर मारो , अगर भागा तो मुर्गा और भागी तो मुर्गी।

आधी दे देना
एक व्यक्ति : ‘ यह घड़ी ठीक करने का क्या लोगे ?’
घड़ीसाज : ‘ जितनी कीमत है उसका आधा दे देना। ‘
अगले दिन घड़ी ठीक कराने के बाद उस व्यक्ति ने घड़ीसाज को 2 थप्पड़ मार दिए। घड़ीसाज ने पूछा , ‘ यह क्या किया तुमने ?’
‘ कुछ नहीं , जब मैंने घड़ी लेने की जिद की थी तो मेरे पिताजी ने मुझे 4 थप्पड़ मारे थे। ‘

शादी के बाद
पत्नी : ‘ मैं कहती थी न कि स्त्री ही पुरुष को पूर्णता प्रदान करती है। इस पुस्तक में साफ लिखा है कि विवाह से पहले कालिदास वज्र मूर्ख थे और शादी के 2 साल बाद ही प्रकांड पंडित बन गए। ‘
पति : ‘ उस एक कालिदास को सब रोते हैं। भागवान , हम जैसे लाखों कालिदास भी तो हैं , जो विवाह से पहले प्रकांड पंडित थे और शादी के 2 साल बाद ही पत्नी ने वज्र मूर्ख बना कर रख दिया। ‘

नारी का मतलब…
नारी का मतलब क्या है शक्ति
और पुरुष का मतलब क्या है सहनशक्ति

आप परेशान क्यों हैं
बस में एक महिला ने देखा कि उसके साथ बैठा यात्री काफी परेशान है।
आखिर पूछ ही लिया : ‘ भाई साहब , आपको काफी देर से देख रही हूं। बुरा न मानें तो पूछ सकती हूं कि आप इतने परेशान क्यों हैं ?’
वह बोला : ‘ पिछले 15 मिनट से आप जिस पांव को खुजला रही हैं , वह आपका नहीं , दरअसल मेरा है। ‘